for Couples & Individuals Wanting to Dive Into The Christian Enneagram Growth Experience!
Find Your UNIQUE Path to Relational Growth – Optimize Your Interpersonal Style, Wake Up to Your Own Sacred Spiritual Adventure, & Create Better Connections with Others!
It’s Like Having Your Own Personal Relationship Workshop on the phone, with Ronna!
Start Your Sacred Enneagram Relationship & Personality Development Journey Today – 30%off!
THE SACRED ENNEAGRAM COACHING LAUNCH Will Familiarize You with Several Important Pathways in Psychological & Spiritual Development!
1. Your Enneagram Relational Style & How More Awareness of that Style Can Create More Presence & Peace in Your Connections with Others
2. Your Top Needs & How to Get Those Needs Met in Healthy Ways in Your Relationships
3. Your Conflict Resolution Style & How You Can Expand that Style to Become a Better Problem Solving Partner
4. How You Most Effectively Recharge & What that Means for Your Partners, Family, Friends, & Coworkers
5. Your Most Comfortable Decision-making Style & How to Widen that Decision-making Lens in Your Relational Life
6. How You Like to Take in Information & the Most Effective Ways to Bring Your Information Processing Gifts into the Social World
7. Your Desire Level for Closure & How to Work with that Preference to Get Unstuck in Relationships
8. Your Instinctual Value Stack & Other Family Patterns You May Want to Bring Important Balance to in Your Interpersonal Habits
9. Stage of Couple Life are You in & the Most Important Growth Steps for that Stage
10. Your Natural Life Management Skills & How to Create Amazingly Effective Partnerships
for You and Your Loved Ones…..
By Ronna Phifer-Ritchie, PhD
A lot of relational disappointments are a result of the harsh, inhuman expectations we place on ourselves and our lives. This year, give yourself and your significant others the life-changing gift of some targeted release of those expectations using personality type awareness!
When we forget that we are human beings with human limits, our relationship with self and others really suffers. Why? Because our relationship with reality is also suffering when we forget those things. And to whatever degree we are out of touch with reality, the personality (ego, false self) is usually filling in that vacuum with impossible, inhuman expectations of others and ourselves.
The Enneagram of Personality is a high precision instrument when it comes to helping us wake up to the kind of inhuman expectations we can mistake for realistic expectations when we are under stress and stuck in what Yechezkel and Ruth Madanes, internationally renowned founders of the Madanes Method of Enneagram Coaching, call the “autopilot” mode of our personality type (From Stuckness to Growth: (Enneagram Coaching) How to Read Your Coachees and Transform Their Lives, p.37):
Ones: It is possible to achieve absolute perfection.
Twos: It is possible to be loved by everybody.
Threes: It is possible to be successful in everything.
Fours: It is possible to be always unique and deep.
Fives: It is possible to attain total knowledge.
Sixes: It is possible to attain total security.
Sevens: It is possible to achieve absolute happiness.
Eights: It is possible to be strong and in control all the time.
Nines: It is possible to find absolute peace and calmness.”
Any relaxed breeze of awakening to the background noise of these demands of the personality, any awareness brought to our particular style of inhuman expectations, can be like hitting the “refresh” button on our life and relationships.
Criticizing ourselves for having unreasonable expectations that have damaged our relational life, is not what we are going for here. That frame of mind only pushes us right into another set of inhuman expectations. (i.e. “I shouldn’t have those kinds of expectations!”) As top Enneagram scholars, Don Riso & Russ Hudson, have been so fond of reminding their students, we can do this work in any moment that we are willing to practice even a little “noticing and letting go” of these habits of thought.
Giving the gift to ourselves of a little bit of noticing and letting go of any of these inhuman expectations is also one of the best gifts we can give others in our personal or professional relationships. It is quite simply a relationship tonic!
This exercise in targeted release of Enneagram-Type-based expectations is the kind of good dose of grace and self-compassion that always powers up our contact with reality, with ourselves, and with others. It can begin to melt some of the personality’s unrealistic demands that create a lot of interpersonal misery, and chart new territory in dating life memory-making.
by Dr.Ronna Phifer-Ritchie