Your Enneagram Style & Your Development as a Couple

The Christian Enneagram Experience



Group Learning Environment

Designed to Develop Better Partnerships through Relational Skill-building in a Weekly Live  Couples’ Connection Community!

Twelve 1.5-Hour Group Coaching Sessions    

$48/Session Per Person   ($96/Session Per Couple)

Why Do This?

Group Coaching

Dedicate a couple of hours a week to building a great relationship with your partner!   The deepest kind of satisfaction in long-term relationships comes from being intentional. Tension does not resolve magically; it takes attention.  Desire does not increase without adding novelty and taking risks.  And every couple needs a growth support network!

Has your relationship taken a backseat to work or parenting pressures?   Are you getting little wake-up calls in your life that are telling you that it is time to invest in your relationship on a new level?  Do you sense that you are avoiding conversations you need to have with your partner?  Are you stuck in patterns of arguing or silence, instead of facing and solving problems as a team?

Learn to appreciate each other again.   Learn how to communicate better, how to really talk to each other again.  Learn how to work, play, and just be together in new and exciting ways.    Add a Friday Noon Focus Couples Coaching Group to your week!

When we don’t deal directly with the normal difficulties that arise in couple life, warning signals pop up in the relationship.   Research shows that if we ignore those signals too long, little problems expand into major crises that force us to wake-up and act.   Unfortunately, by that point, the damage to the relationship is usually significant and takes a very long time to repair.  The truth is every couple struggles and gets stuck at times. It is part of couple development.   The difference between healthy couples and unhealthy couples is resides in this one choice:   Accept these developmental challenges as opportunities to become our best selves and create a better relationship OR stay stuck and/or separate. 

But choosing the growth path is usually not instinctive for us in couple life. Without mentors and a growth community, we forget that our brains are wired to protect when stress arises in the relationship.    We can end up hurting each other left to our own defenses. Connecting with a community of support and perspective-widening ideas throughout the couple development journey can help us learn how to reconnect with our partner in deeper ways, when life’s natural stressors hit.   Are you ready to change the trajectory of your life as a couple? As my talented colleague, Friday Focus East-Coast Live Founder & Couples Therapist, Kelly Scharver says, “WARNING!  This investment could result in more joy, teamwork, and intimacy!

Are you ready to make some intentional change and revitalize your relationship?

This paragraph is from W.H. Murray’s book about his first major climbing expedition. It contains

an important secret….

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy,

the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. 

Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elemental truth

that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

The moment one definitely commits oneself, PROVIDENCE MOVES TOO.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor

all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance,

which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”


First Quarter – TALKING SKILLS: 

Building on that Divine Bond!  The Power, Passion, & Peace that Emerges When You Make Friends with God’s Reality, Really Listen to Your Partner, & “Stay in Your Own (Development) Lane!”

Enneagram Wisdom & Insight in Couple Development   

Couple Fusion

INTRO TO TALKING SKILLS – How to TALK TO EACH OTHER in Ways THAT LEAD TO A HIGHER KIND OF LIFE WISDOM THAN EITHER OF YOU COULD REACH ALONE.Revolutionize Your Relationship by Learning about Your Enneagram Types in Couple Life – Dominant Style, Wing, Direction of Stress, and the Direction of Integration that Accelerates Your Important Couple Development Work.  Personality Wake-up Calls – Learn to Catch Your Type “Autopilot”  in Action and Slow it Down.

HAVE THE CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER.  Learn the powerful Initiator-Inquirer Model, and how to heal conflict-avoidant and hostile-dependent patterns

CREATE MORE OPENNESS, ACCEPTANCE, & CURIOSITY IN YOUR CONVERSATIONS.   Recognize When Your Brain Activity is Contributing to Tension, Judgmental Attitudes, and Closed Mindedness – the Big 3 in Struggling Relationships.   Learn Ways to Self-Sooth, Speak Up for Your Own Desires, Appreciate Your Partner and Employ other Strategies Vital to Connection, all from the Latest in Relational Neurobiology.

Second Quarter – DOING SKILLS:

Learning to Do the Togetherness-&-Separation Dance!  Your Walk with God, What Really Matters to You, & Your Relationship Health!

Enneagram Instinctual Variants in Couple Development

Do You Have an Only Child as a Significant Other? Well, You Have Plenty of Company in the USA, It's One of the Fastest Growing Demographics in Family Structure Right Now. They Grow up Fast, and Sometimes Expect that Their Parents Will Be a Large Part of Your Life as a Couple, Because They Thought of Themselves as Part of Those Adult Circles for Most of Their Life!

INTRO TO DOING SKILLS – How to DO LIFE TOGETHER IN A WAY THAT CLARIFIES & ALIGNS WITH BOTH OF YOUR SETS OF TRUE VALUES.    Turn Conflict into the Building Blocks of a Meaningful Future for Both of You by Understanding Your Enneagram Instinctual Stacks.  Start Healing the Deep, Blind Spots You and Your Partner Struggle with Most, and Learn How to Add More Peace, Passion, and People Support to Your Life Together.

UNDERSTAND INSTINCTUAL VALUE SYSTEMS.   See How Your Relationship Can Blossom Even When Life is Demanding and Resources Seem Limited.  When Your Value Systems are Integrated and Available for Problem Solving, You Can Build New Kinds of Important Meaningful-Contact Points into Your Busy Day, with Each Other.  Ground Your Relationship in the Kind of Authentic Attachment and Real Freedom that is Good for Your Brain Health.

MASTER THE ENERGIZING DANCE OF CONNECTION & SEPARATION.  Get the “how to’s” on ways you can thoroughly enjoy those parts of yourselves and feel good about who you are, without creating destructive distance in the relationship.

Third Quarter – BEING SKILLS:    

Continually Coming “Home” to Your True Self in God, in New Ways in Couple Life!   Relaxing Into God’s Here & Now, Where  REAL Relationship Happens!

Enneagram Relationship Builders in Couple Development

INTRO TO BEING SKILLS – How to BE TOGETHER IN NEW WAYS,  IN PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL LIFE.   Your Enneagram Type Journeys can Benefit All Your Relationships, Inside & Outside of Couple Life.   Learn to let go of familiar assumption patterns and embrace the relational adventure.  Develop the art of spending more time together again, while maintaining an exciting individual identity.

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ALL THREE TYPES OF CONFLICT STRATEGIES, INSTEAD OF OVER USING ONE OF THEM.   Practice Creating More Harmony in Your Conflict Resolution and Problem Solving.   Make Use of Each Other’s Style Gifts when Facing Obstacles in Life.

EXPLORE YOUR RELATIONAL HISTORIES & UNCOVER WAYS THEY MIGHT BE IMPACTING YOUR LIFE TOGETHER.   Discover the kind of “psychic wallpaper” carried by each Relational Ennea-style and how becoming more aware of those expectation and interpretation patterns can free up creative, productive energy in your life as a couple, and beyond.  Turn into your relationship for more intimacy and emotional sustenance with more ease and trust.

Fourth Quarter – TEAMING SKILLS:

The Power of Practicing God’s Presence in Your Relationship, Your Family, & Your Community!   The Dynamics of the Psychological & Spiritual Development Journey that Keep Your Relationship Alive & Well!

Enneagram Dynamics of Growth in Couple Life 

Your Private Ballroom Dance Lesson is Part of the "Begin Again" Retreat Package!

INTRO TO TEAMING SKILLS – How to Ba a TEAM & Always Orient Towards GROWTH AS YOU GO FORWARD.  Ensure the Health & Development of Your Ennea-styles in Your Ongoing Couple & Community Life.

NOTICE WHAT RAISES (& WHAT LOWERS) YOUR PERSONALITY HEALTH LEVEL or “Center of Gravity.”  Experience what an Upward “Level Shift” in Your Personality Health Feels Like, How it Creates Openness, Acceptance, & Curiosity in Your Conversations with Your Loved One.  Learn to Anchor Those Amazing Shifts in Your Physical, Emotional, and Mental Memory Centers, so You Can Access Them More Easily.

LEARN TO HARNESS THE POWER OF PRESENCE in Your Relational Growth Journey Every Day!  Gain a clear image of what growth looks like for your interpersonal life.  Commit to ongoing practices to develop your type’s strengths and heal your type’s blind spots; and keep each other on track.

What to Expect

in the

Christian Enneagram Group Coaching Experience:

Location:  Your group will meet weekly, on-site at your church or community room.  Or your group has the option of renting a workshop room at the Bay Club Cupertino

Time:  TBD – Your group organizers can choose from several daytime slots, Sunday through Friday.  (No Saturday appointments.)

Live Facilitator:  Ronna Phifer-Ritchie, PhD, CLC – Couple Development Expert, Christian Educator,  & Enneagram of Personality Scholar

Description:  You will learn tools to improve your relationship and experiment with those tools as soon as you leave each monthly workshop experience.  You will more clearly be able to identify the ineffective behaviors that are damaging your relationship currently.   Each meeting, you will learn about and have a chance to experiment with TWO POWERFUL GROWTH TOOLS (one designed to promote couple growth & one designed to promote your individual growth as a partner) that address some of the most common relationship problems.

Plan Some Time for a Fun “Date Night” (However YOU Define That!)  after the Group Coaching Experience Each Week:  Because getting into action is SO important to create change in your life as a couple, you will spend some time with your partner envisioning creative ways to implement your new tools during your DATE NIGHT CHALLENGE EXPERIMENT.    This will help you start an immediate habit of deeper and more honest connection with each other going forward, as you will create an experiential anchor you can access throughout the month (and beyond), for each growth step you take!

Arrive On Time for Your Group:   That way, you don’t miss the community-building mixer and “check-in” time with the other couples in your group.   And we want you to be comfortable and tuned-in during the group session, so grab a bottle of water and stay hydrated during the meeting.  Jump into the relaxing mini-meditation time at the start.

Stay for a Complimentary After-Session Enneagram Mixer with Others Working on Personality Health in Relationship:    And stay for some light healthy snacks, Enneagram games, and deep healthy fellowship after the meeting.  

Stay Tuned for Your High-Impact Exercise to Try During Each Week:   These simple little experiments can create deeper connection, real clarification, & important course corrections in your life together as a couple.


(For Each Participant ($96 per Couple) – Billed Monthly)