By Ronna Phifer-Ritchie & John Waters

My New idea

Q: How many Ones does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Shouldn’t we be using longer-lasting bulbs?

Q: Twos?
A: As many as you need!

Q: Threes?
A: Just one. But someone has to be watching.

Q: Fours?
A: One to screw in the bulb, and one to observe how little light it casts on the dark sea of despair in which we live.

Q: Fives?
A: That remains to be seen. No one can answer that question with any reasonable expectation of accuracy without further investigation. And its possible that the question itself is flawed.

Q: Sixes?
A: Three. One to screw it in, one to unscrew it, and one to screw it back in.

Q: Sevens?
A: None! We brought fireworks!

Q: Eights?
A: None; Eights aren’t afraid of the dark.

Q: Nines?
A: Oh, the old one is fine.


Send in Your Suggestions to  –
Classic Rock Song Titles You Think Go With Each of the Nine Types

Here are some good ones to get you started….

Type One:
I Cant Get No Satisfaction (The Rolling Stones)
I Still Havent Found What Im Looking For (U2)

Type Two:
I Want You To Want Me (Cheap Trick)
All You Need is Love (The Beatles)

Type Three:
Respect (Aretha Franklin)
Great Pretender (Platters)

Type Four
Only the Lonely (Roy Orbison)
You Dont Know What Its Like (The Bee Gees)

Type Five
People Are Strange (The Doors)
In My Room (Beach Boys)

Type Six
Be True to Your School (Beach Boys)
Stand By Me (Ben E. King)

Type Seven
I Want to Rock-n-Roll All Night and Party Everyday (Kiss)
Fun, Fun, Fun (Beach Boys)

Type Eight
Saturday Nights All Right for Fighting (Elton John)
Under My Thumb (Rolling Stones)

Type Nine
Take it Easy (the Eagles)
Comfortably Numb (Pink Floyd)