SMART CONFLICT: SOME THINGS YOU NEED TO REMEMBER
The Enneagram of Personality has a lot to teach us about the value of good conflict. Beyond reminding us that we need to appreciate and develop all Nine style strengths to truly grow as relational beings, the Enneagram has within it a profound system for conflict resolution. One aspect of that system was discovered by Don Riso and Russ Hudson in their work on the Harmonics – the three “sounds” of smart conflict resolution that transform difficult conversations into progress itself:
The “Intensity Group:” Individualists, Loyalists, and Challengers – You bring the catalyst of real and strong responses to the hard moments of relational differentiation. Make sure you open the door to the fresh air that being truly “for” the others in the room and cognitive clarity can bring into our meeting!
The “Positive Outlook Group:” Peacemakers, Helpers, and Enthusiasts – You bring the container of hope and happy endings to come to the table in conflict; make sure you invite authentic emotional expression and clear thinking to join us here!
The “Competency Group:” Reformers, Achievers, and Investigators – You bring the capstone of facts and higher principles to tense dialogue. Make sure you embrace and attune to the voice of emotional reality and abiding connection while we talk!
For more on the Harmonics and great relating join us for the Relationships Workshop, Northern California, Fall 2009