Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

with

Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Ones and Eights bring a common concern with fighting for truth and justice in their world. They both often feel (although in different ways and for different reasons) that it is up to them to stand against whatever they perceive as injustice or falseness. Both can see themselves as gallant crusaders protecting the weak, righting wrongs, and making the world a better place.

In a relationship, these two types are both action-oriented, and if their attention and energy is turned toward social causes in particular, they can have a big effect on their family and their community, perhaps even their country or the world. Both bring a certain nobility of vision and a focused purpose, practicality, and perseverance in supporting whatever they believe is right. Both are willing to sacrifice a great deal to do what they believe needs to be done. For both,  fairness is centrally important. (Ones bring a sense of absolute or ideal truth and justice whereas Eights bring a more practical and immediate approach to these concepts.)

The combination can be very powerful: they accomplish things with a clear cut sense of purpose and personal mission. Both are decisive and direct, although Eights bring a passion and gusto that counterbalances the One’s self-restraint and propriety. Ones can find Eights exciting, physical, and earthy-all the  things that they restrain in themselves. Thus, there can be a strong attraction from both sides. Further, Eights recognize that Ones are as strong-willed and determined as they are: they cannot easily sway or bowl over Ones. Eights thus admire their conviction and are attracted to the challenge of getting closer to Ones.

In many ways, these two types are opposites-the pirate and the schoolteacher-although both could learn a great deal from the other, if they are willing to listen to someone with such different values, reactions, and ways of doing things.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

_____________________

HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight) with a Competency Type (One)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS – TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” OR “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS: an Assertive Type (Eight) with a Compliant Type (One)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES – INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, THINKING TYPE: a Body Type (Eight) with a Body Type (One)

 

Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

with

Enneagram Type Two (the Helper)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

These two types are more alike than they might appear to be at first.  Both are action-oriented and want to have a personal impact on their environment. Both can be sentimental and deeply feeling, with a soft side that is often more hidden than apparent. Both can play the roles of provider, protector, caretaker, and nurturer while avoiding or even denying their own needs. Both tend to overwork themselves and both tend to be the strong one in relationships (although Twos will tend to do so as the power behind the throne while Eights will tend to clearly be on the throne). Both types bring passion, vitality, interpersonal and social skills, magnanimity, and generosity.

The basic emphasis of both types is distinctly different, however, with Twos being primarily interested in the welfare of others while Eights tend to be interested in their physical wellbeing and in having a distinct impact on their world, often with beneficial fallout for others. They easily play roles that the other needs and wants: the Eight is practical and concerned with results, whereas Twos are more peopleoriented and more openly altruistic. They are both strong willed and like taking on responsibility, as long as they choose it themselves. Eights often bask in the glow of the Two’s affection and adoration: Twos truly appreciate the Eight’s strength and efforts—and see their often hidden self-sacrifice.

Both see each other’s noble qualities and can be each other’s staunchest supporters and admirers. Their roles are also clearly delineated, so they do not get in each other’s way. Each runs different spheres of their lives and cover different bases (one plays the symbolic Mommy the other the symbolic Daddy and things are clear and balanced).  These qualities make this couple powerful allies who complement each other’s strengths, particularly the good effects they can have on others.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

___________________

HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight) with a Positive Outlook Type (Two)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS – TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” OR “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS: an Assertive Type (Eight) with a Compliant Type (Two)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES – INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, THINKING TYPE: a Body Type (Eight) with a Heart Type (Two)

 

Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

with

Enneagram Type Three (the Achiever)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

These two types can form powerful and highly effective affiliations and can also have passionate and stimulating personal relationships. Both are assertive: both Threes and Eights go after what they want in life. Both can be larger-than-life figures who are outstanding in some way and because both stand out in their social circle. They cannot help but notice each other and come to terms with each other. Either an alliance forms that will enhance both parties or a competition develops that will keep them apart.

Surprisingly, Eight’s strength and solidity gives Threes permission to be more heartfelt: the Eight feels reliable and Threes seek safety to reveal their hearts.  Eights also like seeing Threes use the opportunities and rise to the challenges they offer. On the other side, it helps Eights to relax once they see that the Three is competent and can do things on their own.  Moreover, both Threes and Eights are action oriented, pragmatic, care about getting the job done and are willing to take the lead to achieve their goals.  They both have a marked degree of self-confidence (at least outwardly), they can be persuasive, and they can cut their losses and change goals when things are not working for them.

To this mix, Threes bring more awareness of others, a feeling for public relations and for how to please people. They are more diplomatic and adaptable, both in their relationship with Eights and with others. Eights bring forthrightness in expression, fearlessness, physical vigor, and determination to achieve their personal vision. They bring solidity, decisiveness, and a kind of strength that the more flexible Three gains confidence from. T

hey want to be proud of each other and to support each other’s potentials and accomplishments. They tend not to compete with each other—surprising because both tend, in general, to be competitive with others.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

___________________

HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight) with a Competency Type (Three)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS – TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” OR “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS: an Assertive Type (Eight) with an Assertive Type (Three)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES – INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, THINKING TYPE: a Body Type (Eight) with a Heart Type (Three)

 

Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

with

Enneagram Type Four (the Individualist)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

This can be one of the most creative relationship couplings, although it is also one of the most inherently volatile.

Both Enneagram Fours and Eights are intense and have strong emotional responses; both seek to get a reaction from the other, and both can be dominating of their environments: Eights are socially dominant, Fours are emotionally dominant. Both types bring passion, intensity, energy, and deep (often unconscious) feelings to all aspects of the relationship. They are attracted to each other’s storminess, the other’s vulnerability, and the other’s “hidden” qualities: neither is what they seem to be on the surface. Both types are also highly intuitive, Fours by being self-aware and knowledgeable about how they are feeling, and Eights with their intuition about external phenomena, often with an extremely accurate insight about the potentials and possibilities exhibited by others.

Because of their passionate natures, both types can become impulsive and reckless, taking extreme risks for love of thrills or for the sensation of being alive—and this can be tremendously exciting to the other. But there are trade-offs: Fours tend to depend on the Eight’s practicality and ability to protect and provide for them, whereas Eights tend to depend on the Four’s sensitivity and mysterious sense of challenge.  The Four’s emotional life and heart may be one world that the Eight cannot easily conquer.  On the other hand, Fours see strength, charisma, and solidity in Eights.  Both feel that the other can meet their intensity—that the other will not be boring or non-responsive to them. They make each other feel more alive, something that both want.

Intensity, vitality, passion, and immediacy are the emotional hallmarks of this couple, and they relate to each other (and to others in their world) from an unusually high emotional pitch—there is always something happening in their relationship, and they like it this way.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

_______________________

HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight) with an Emotional Intensity Type (Four)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS – TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” OR “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS: an Assertive Type (Eight) with a Withdrawn Type (Four)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES – INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, THINKING TYPE: a Body Type (Eight) with a Heat Type (Four)

 

 

Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

with

Enneagram Type Five (the Investigator)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

These two types bring to each other complementary and reciprocal talents, just what the other needs but is not necessarily aware of.   For instance, Enneagram Fives need to be more identified with their body and with their instinctive energy; they need to be more engaged with the practical world and to feel their own sense of power and capacity.  They can learn these qualities from Eights. On the other hand, Eights need to be more thoughtful and aware of the impact of their actions on themselves and on their environment. They need to know more and to think of consequences more carefully before acting. Every action produces a reaction, and it is not necessarily the one that the Eight wants to happen. This kind of analytic foresight is something Eights can learn from Fives.

Besides these qualities, both Fives and Eights bring a common insistence on independence and non-interference from others.  Both types are aware of boundaries and dislike intrusion. Both enjoy a good debate, and both admire someone who stands up for himself intellectually and/or physically. Both types feel like misfits and so they understand each other’s emotional core, often in an unspoken way.  Both types need personal space, but when they find each other, they can both show a surprising degree of need and vulnerability. They see the other person behind the defense, relating to each others’ sense of dignity and hidden vulnerabilities. Both can be stoical toward their own suffering and unhappiness, with little or no self-pity.

As a couple, they can bring power and depth, action and thoughtfulness, brilliance and brashness to their world. They are also the natural protectors and advisors of each other: Eights love to protect less tough Fives, and Fives help Eights recognize the subtleties for their plans and actions.  These two types can therefore band together as a coalition of power and brains, a formidable combination.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

_____________________

HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight) with a Competency Type (Five)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS – TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” OR “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS: an Assertive Type (Eight) with a Withdrawn Type (Five)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES – INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, THINKING TYPE: a Body Type (Eight) with a Head Type (Five)

 

Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

with

Enneagram Type Six (the Loyalist)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Sixes and Eights can build an extraordinarily strong, long lasting relationship on what is, at root, a defensive view of the world.  Both types feel that most people and the world are selfish and untrustworthy, and that they world is highly unpredictable. One
therefore needs to take care of oneself and one’s own interests (Eights) and have strong allies and the ability to get back up from one’s friends (Sixes). Both Sixes and Eights have deep issues with trust; and with finding people they are able to trust-and so when they have found each other and have gone through a period of testing, their alliance can be solid and deep. Once they have bonded with each other, both types have done so on a deep level of their being, and while the relationship may change over time, they are never indifferent to each other.

They both admire and try to embody strength, commitment to one’s word, honor, unquestioned loyalty, responsibility, hard work, courage, a spirit of protectiveness, and fighting for the underdog. Both are doers, and enjoy being active, getting tasks accomplished, building a more safe and secure world for themselves and their loved ones.  Sixes bring warmth, the desire for personal connection and commitment, a certain playfulness and sensitivity.  They are also mental types and bring skepticism, analytic thinking, and the ability to think through decisions and to foresee outcomes and potential problems before acting. Sixes thus tend to act as advisers and lieutenants to Eights who tend to take the lead and provide the vision and audacity that Sixes sometimes lack themselves. Eights also bring directness and decisiveness, strong wills, confidence, a can do spirit that is energized by adversity and a penchant for taking on challenges. Sixes tend to look up to the Eights as their hero, while Eights are touched by the Six’s devotion and courage. Eights are aware of their inner struggles and what it takes to overcome them.

When there is genuine affection between these two types, there may be fireworks and occasional fights, but the bond only seems to grow stronger with time.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

_______________________

HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight) with an Emotional Intensity Type (Six)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS – TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” OR “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS: an Assertive Type (Eight) with a Compliant Type (Six)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES – INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, THINKING TYPE: a Body Type (Eight) with a Head Type (Six)

 

Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

with

Enneagram Type Seven (the Enthusiast)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Both Enneagram Sevens and Eights are highly self-assertive, independent, and strong willed. Both types also resist being controlled or limited by authorities or even by internal, psychological mechanisms.  Once someone (or even some inner voice) says do not, both Sevens and Eights respond with defiance and a desire to push the limits, whatever they may be. Both types are practical, this world-oriented, not necessarily worldly or materialistic, but concerned with concrete affairs and finding happiness and fulfillment in the here and now.  Neither likes to postpone their satisfactions or to settle for vague promises about the future. Both tend to overspend their budget on a bountiful lifestyle that is a source of pleasure for themselves and their friends and family.

They love to entertain and offer the best there is to others as a sign of their generosity and as a signal of their success and standing in the world.  Both are high energy people, often gifted with a vitality and gusto for life that is noteworthy. A Seven/Eight couple can get a tremendous amount done, and are revitalized by staying active. They are adventuresome and are willing to try new things in their relationship. They are also both extremely outspoken and do not hold themselves back from voicing their own opinions or making their needs known.

Sevens bring more lightness and a sense of fun and excitement, trying something new and different for the sake of keeping things fresh and stimulating. They are also usually the more talkative of the two: Sevens are usually highly engaging storytellers and raconteurs, turning their adventures (and catastrophes) into entertaining tales. Eights are usually surprisingly more reserved and moody than is often recognized, and they rely on the Seven to lighten the atmosphere and to make their practical affairs more fun and enjoyable.  Eights also bring directness, decisiveness, and the willingness to face difficult situations with determination and persistence.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

_____________________________________________

HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight) with a Positive Outlook Type (Seven)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS – TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” OR “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS: an Assertive Type (Eight) with an Assertive Type (Seven)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES – INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, THINKING TYPE: a Body Type (Eight) with a Head Type (Seven)

 

Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

with

Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Eights generally bring the same qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls. Thus, the Level of health of each person is especially important for these types of relationships as are their dominant instincts.

Both Eights will bring a lot of energy, vitality, and passion to the relationship: few other combinations are so intensely involved with each other as this nor are they able to create such fireworks. They both have strong willpower, independent thinking, the ability to make decisions and get things done, and a desire to see results in the practical world: they will not simply talk about building a house or going on vacation, they will make it happen.

When two Eights are well matched, they paradoxically both stimulate each other and relax each other at the same time. They feel that their energy has been met, so they can relax around the other Eight and turn their attention and energy toward other interests. Two Eights are also able to profoundly relax each other because they have confidence in each other. They know that they have what it takes as a team to do what needs to be done, to be safe, secure, and stable in their own world. “The feeling is “We’ve got it covered.” Rather than be marked by high energy, quiet confidence is a hallmark of a double Eight couple.  This is because they are relieved (and quietly happy) to have found someone else strong who they can depend on. This also leads to a profound feeling of mutual respect, direct and frequent communication, the ability to air their needs and feelings and to settle their occasional disagreements cleanly and quickly. Double Eight pairs can build a significant empire of some sort together, and because they feel that they have unshakable support in the other, they can also be generous and open-hearted with others.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

___________________

HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight) with an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS – TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” OR “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS: an Assertive Type (Eight) with an Assertive Type (Eight)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES – INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, THINKING TYPE: a Body Type (Eight) with a Body Type (Eight)

 

Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

with

Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Eights bring leadership qualities: a take charge, “we can do it” mentality that others usually look up to and rely on. They are full of self-confidence and vitality and feel like a force of nature that cannot be denied. Nines generally admire these qualities in Eights and often gravitate to them. Nines typically tend to live vicariously through the positive qualities of the other, and Eights like to have people around who are impressed and stimulated by the Eight’s leadership, vitality, and brashness. Nines genuinely admire the Eight’s ability to make things happen and to fearlessly take on challenges.

On the other hand, Nines bring a sense of calm and stability that Eights find soothing and necessary for their well being.   They also bring to Eights a feeling of quiet pride in the Eight’s bravado and more assertive qualities, encouraging Eights to continue in their take charge style.  Even healthy Eights spend a lot of time overcoming obstacles and adversity; they are fighters trying to survive and make their mark on the world. Nines are like a safe harbor, a respite, a person with whom Eights can let down their guard and relax. They tend therefore to teach each other what the other lacks: Eights bring Nines self-confidence and self-assertion, while Nines teach Eights which battles are worth fighting for and how not to push so hard.

The Eight/Nine couple is thus like fire and water—an active force and a receptive force—that has an archetypal feeling about it. Their roles are well-defined with each paying a parenting role toward the others-one is usually the daddy while the other is the mommy—although this does not go along gender lines as might be expected. Both have powerful drives and strong willpower; both like comfort and simplicity; both want to create a safe retreat from the world. When these forces and their talents are harnessed together after the same goals, this pair can be dynamic and powerful but also comfortable and receptive at the same time.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

___________________

HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight) with a Positive Outlook Type (Nine)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS – TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” OR “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS: an Assertive Type (Eight) with a Withdrawn Type (Nine)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES – INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, THINKING TYPE: a Body Type (Eight) with a Body Type (Nine)

 








  Take the Next Step in Your Relational Growth Adventure!

Try the Christian Enneagram Coaching Experience….

FREE 15-minute Introductory Phone Appontment!

I know, whatever relational journey brought you to this moment, you are designed by God to live in healthy relationships, where you naturally thrive.   If you are truly ready to start creating that kind of interpersonal life, this FREE 15-minute INTRODUCTORY CONSULTATION  is a great opportunity for us to explore the ways professional relationship coaching can help you get there, and whether or not the kind of deep psychological and spiritual growth work I do with my clients is a good fit for you.