Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

with

Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship

These types understand each other from the inside as it were, and for better or worse, can see many of their own traits in the other. On the positive side, each type brings a certain idealism and desire to change the world to make it a better place. Nines bring a more interpersonal orientation than Ones to their idealism, but both can be self-sacrificial and hardworking, and willing to put their personal needs and interests aside for the welfare of others. Both are also able to delay rewards for a long-term good they seek.

Ones bring clarity and rationality and the ability to articulate ideals and understandings. They strive to improve themselves and their environment, are conscientious, have high ethical and moral standards, and are fair and consistent. Nines bring a gentle, accepting quality that nurtures and supports others without as much explicit demand for self-improvement. Nines are steady, easy to get along with, feel uncritical and undemanding, and prefer harmony and smooth relations over the pleasure of being right or of having the last word in a situation.

In short, Nines tend to take a bit of the rough edge off of the criticality and seriousness of Ones, while Ones give clarity and direction to Nines. Further, Ones feel that they have a mission in life, and they are able to inspire Nines to become aware of their own purpose and to want to follow it. This can be a highly altruistic couple who balance idealism with humanity. As a couple, they are gracious company, hospitable and generous, but they also need time to be alone with each other as a couple. They have a mutual love of nature and animals that may bring them closer together, as well as their love of their children and family. Nines soothe Ones, while Ones remind Nines to strive for excellence.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:   a Positive Outlook Type (Nine) with a Competency Type (One)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Withdrawn Type (Nines) with a Compliant Type (One)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (Nine) with a Body Type (One)

 

Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

with

Enneagram Type Two (the Helper)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Twos and Nines are similar in a wide variety of areas and reactions; both types are iinterested in nurturing others and in helping people to be better, more comfortable with themselves, and more at peace. Both types also tend to be optimistic and to reframe
disappointments in the most positive way possible. This pairing has an outstanding warm, kindly, and good-nature quality about it that each side reinforces.  Twos and Nines are easy-going, hospitable, and undemanding, happy to make friends happy and to welcome them into their home.

Twos bring to the pair a more outward and interpersonally engaging energy: they would most likely be the first to introduce themselves at a party or to go to someone’s aid and comfort if they perceived that the other person had some kind of problem. Twos are proud of their relationship, their home, their family and their friends, and they want to share them with others. Twos constantly add energy and new people to the relationship mix. They are more talkative than Nines and more openly curious about other people, how they live and what they are like, and more eager to get involved in others’ lives.  On the other hand, Nines bring a quiet steadiness and uncomplicated directness that allows people to flourish and things to get done with a minimum of stress and conflict. Even if Twos become upset about their relationships, or are feeling moments of self-doubt about how loved they are, Nines have a way of calming them down and of providing a great deal of unquestioned acceptance.

Both types are drawn to each other to provide soothing and support; their home and hearth, pets and love of nature are extremely important to them. Both go out of their way to be considerate of each other, as well as of other people.  Much of their best communication is non-verbal, physical, arising from their simple, direct presence to each other. They can develop almost a psychic link with each other. This is a very mellow couple, whose emphasis on hospitality reminds people of how healing it is to be around loving, generous people.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:   a Positive Outlook Type (Nine) with a Positive Outlook Type (Two)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Withdrawn Type (Nines) with a Compliant Type (Two)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (Nine) with a Heart Type (Two)

 

Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

with

Enneagram Type Three (the Achiever)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

This is a fairly common pairing. Nines bring enormous support, encouragement, and a sense of pride in the Three’s accomplishments.  Threes can feel that with the Nine behind them, they are able to be themselves, explore their potential, and become the best mate, friend, or professional that they can be. Threes can help Nines to properly value themselves, to have more self-respect, and to invest in their own development. Nines can help Threes relax and find enjoyment in simple things; Nines give them permission to not drive themselves so much.

Both types also want to avoid conflicts and to put a positive spin on things.  Nines are genuinely optimistic and look on the bright side, while Threes focus on being positive and hopeful, and are careful to not let people see them being down or depressed. Both types are sociable, idealistic, caring for children, animals, and the underdog. Both are usually hard working and want to achieve a degree of material success that will enable them to take care of others in a kind of extended family where everyone would be safe, comfortable, and thriving. They both want a pleasant, aesthetically pleasing home.

To this mix, Threes bring energy, personal ambition, flexibility, the ability to set and achieve long term goals, and efficiency. Threes energize Nines and bring change and excitement to the relationship.  Nines bring a feeling of safety and steadiness, the assurance that the Three is loved for themselves and not just for their achievements, and the feeling of not being judged or evaluated at every moment. Threes feel that they can let down their hair and really be themselves with Nines who accept them just as they are.

The sensuality of the Nine and the attractiveness of the Three can meet in a couple highly attracted to each other and attached by physical passion. In other Three-and-Nine couples, the need for comfort and security may be the main source of attachment and the pleasure they get from each other.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:   a Positive Outlook Type (Nine) with a Competency Type (Three)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Withdrawn Type (Nines) with an Assertive Type (Three)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (Nine) with a Heart Type (Three)

 

Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

with

Enneagram Type Four (the Individualist)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

This can be, paradoxically, both a very comfortable, and yet exciting, relationship pair.

Enneagram Fours and Nines are both withdrawn and private, sensitive to the feelings and needs of the other, and empathetic to the suffering of others. Both can be tender-hearted and highly sympathetic to the suffering that they find in the world and in each other. Both want to find a deep connection with the other, and yet, both also want a certain degree of autonomy and insist on a very real degree of privacy. Both Fours and Nines can be highly creative, and as a pair they enthusiastically support the other’s creativity and give the other a good deal of space in which to develop their talents. Both are idealistic and want to connect deeply with someone, feeling that they are on a search for their soul mate, the one person in the world with whom they can completely connect and be themselves.  Both Fours and Nines also bring a sensuality and love of comfort that is noteworthy; this may express itself in their lifestyle, traveling habits, and in their sexual and other intimate activities.

This is a couple that likes to stay in bed all Sunday morning, reading the papers and talking.  Each brings passion and an appreciation of the other coupled with a desire to be comfortable and build a life with the other. Fours can make Nines become more intense and expressive about how they feel, while Nines can allow Fours to feel understood and accepted for who they are. Fours are good at naming feelings and pinpointing emotional states; Nines are good at creating an atmosphere of nonjudgmental acceptance, Nines may even enjoy the emotional storms and dramas that Fours occasionally get into, feeling that it adds spice to their life together. A lot of the pleasure and passion of this couple is nonverbal in the depth of the understanding that each has for the other.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:   a Positive Outlook Type (Nine) with an Emotional Intensity Type (Four)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Withdrawn Type (Nines) with a Withdrawn Type (Four)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (Nine) with a Heart Type (Four)

 

 

Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

with

Enneagram Type Five (the Investigator)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

An Enneagram Five/Nine pair gives each other a great deal of personal and emotional space for activities and for doing things on their own.  Neither one would hover or intrude on the other, although the capacity for a healthy emotional connection and interest in each other is still present. This pair is characterized by a sense of quiet, non-intrusiveness, spaciousness, and respect for each other’s boundaries, work, and individuality.

Nines are undemanding and uncritical. Nines are the more emotional of the two types, but even so, Nines do not always know what they are feeling or how to express themselves adequately. They appreciate the Five’s ability to be curious about them and to draw them out of the kind of “inner fuzziness” that Nines can get into. Nines appreciate the Five’s intellectual sharpness, ability to ask the right questions, to remember things, to be objective, and their patience.  Fives appreciate Nine’s warmth, and when there is a real personal or sexual connection between them, their nurturing qualities. Fives usually feel dry and cut off from emotional sustenance; if they find this in someone, it is likely to be a Nine who can offer unquestioned acceptance, sensual comfort, and tenderness. Nines often make Fives relax-deeply and completely, something Fives very much need.

Both types have an intellectual component and if they are more or less on an intellectual par with each other, they can be a powerful and stimulating couple: the pungent wit of the Five is softened by the droll understatement of the Nine. Both appreciate the irrational and the absurd, although Fives dig far deeper into the dark areas of life than Nines. This pair can be a case of two people initiating the other into very different world views: the idealism and the realism, the sunlight and the darkness both have a place here.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:   a Positive Outlook Type (Nine) with a Competency Type (Five)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Withdrawn Type (Nines) with a Withdrawn Type (Five)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (Nine) with a Head Type (Five)

 

Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

with

Enneagram Type Six (the Loyalist)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

This is one of the most stable and most common relationships. Although both types are very different, they want rather similar things: security and predictability (Sixes) and stability and autonomy (Nines). They both want their lives to be built on solid, dependable values and for good, honest work to be rewarded. Both types tend to personify “middle of the road” values in their time and culture, to be dutiful, respectful of authority, and to abide by the rule of law.

On the other hand, there is a rebellious streak in Sixes and a counterculture streak in Nines that allows some of these couples to live on the fringes of society, to be unusual in their lifestyle and beliefs, to be free thinkers and unconcerned about conventional values and mores.  More for Sixes and Nines than for most couples, much depends on their belief systems and the quality of their childhood experiences—and they are looking for a partner who will mirror this, including their own beliefs and reactions. To this mix, there are also complementary differences: Sixes bring a more active mind, questioning and alert to exceptions, to problems, and to safety issues. They can be more skeptical of others and find it more difficult to be trusting: others need to prove themselves first. Nines, on the other hand, are usually trusting and unquestioning, sunny and easy to get along with. They are optimistic and steady, offering support and non-threatening acceptance. If Sixes tend to see the exception and to focus on complications, Nines tend to see the general and to focus on what will work without problems.

This couple gets along well, greasing each other’s wheels and adding just enough gas to the mix to keep them moving forward together. Change, when it comes, is slow and methodical. Both tend to see themselves as simple, regular people and do not feel special or exempt in any way.  Both bolster the other’s confidence through their solidarity with each other. They are generous with each other and do not crowd the other or make special demands. When they find a relationship such as this, it usually feels like they have found what their heart has been seeking and their dream has come true.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:   a Positive Outlook Type (Nine) with an Emotional Intensity Type (Six)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Withdrawn Type (Nines) with a Compliant Type (Six)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (Nine) with a Head Type (Six)

 

Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

with

Enneagram Type Seven (the Enthusiast)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Sevens and Nines are one of the most often seen pairings of the types because they bring a good mix of similar and opposite qualities. Fundamentally, Sevens and Nines are both positive outlook types who are optimistic, upbeat, and who prefer to avoid conflicts and negatives in their lives and in their relationship. Both types are friendly, sociable, and generally happy with themselves and with their lives.  Neither is typically introspective or brooding, preferring to get on with things rather than to look backward or to stew over failures or disappointments. Both are able to forgive and forget and to make the best of their limitations, whatever they might be.

They might be separated physically or have few financial means, but Sevens and Nines can make the best of these circumstances and continue to build their future together. Both tend to be practical, although both can have a romantic streak and a physicality that adds spice to their relationship.  Both are also often funny and can make even the most mundane events pleasurable and pleasant. Sevens provide the stimulation, Nines the audience.  On the complementary opposite side, Sevens are more active and self-assertive than Nines; they tend to take initiatives, to make plans, to have multiple interests, and to provide the energy for the couple. Sevens are mentally quick, self-confident, curious, open to new experiences, and resilient when there are setbacks. They bring the fun, sparkle, and sense of adventure. Nines bring a sense of steadiness, support, and acceptance to the relationship. They tend to be more sympathetic and soft hearted than Sevens, as well as more relaxed and undemanding of themselves and their environment, including other people. Nines are also often generous and willing to make personal sacrifices to help others and to make them happy.

Their personal simplicity and uncomplicatedness meshes well with the more assertive qualities of the Seven. As long as neither takes advantage of the other, there is a good balance between energy and relaxation in this couple.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:   a Positive Outlook Type (Nine) with a Positive Outlook Type (Seven)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Withdrawn Type (Nines) with an Assertive Type (Seven)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (Nine) with a Head Type (Seven)

 

Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

with

Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Eights bring leadership qualities—a take charge, “we can do it” mentality that others usually look up to and rely on. They are full of self-confidence and vitality and feel like a force of nature that cannot be denied.

Nines generally admire these qualities in Eights and often gravitate to them. Nines typically tend to live vicariously through the positive qualities of the other, and Eights like to have people around who are impressed and stimulated by the Eight’s leadership, vitality, and brashness. Nines genuinely admire the Eight’s ability to make things happen and to fearlessly take on challenges.  On the other hand, Nines bring a sense of calm and stability that Eights find soothing and necessary for their wellbeing. They also bring to Eights a feeling of quiet pride in the Eight’s bravado and more assertive qualities, encouraging Eights to continue in their take charge style.  Even healthy Eights spend a lot of time overcoming obstacles and adversity; they are fighters trying to survive and make their mark on the world. Nines are like a safe harbor, a respite, a person with whom Eights can let down their guard and relax. They tend therefore to teach each other what the other lacks: Eights bring Nines self-confidence and self-assertion, while Nines teach Eights which battles are worth fighting for and how not to push so hard.

The Eight/Nine couple is thus like fire and water—an active force and a receptive force—that has an archetypal feeling about it. Their roles are well-defined with each paying a parenting role toward the others-one is usually the daddy while the other is the mommy—although this does not go along gender lines as might be expected. Both have powerful drives and strong willpower; both like comfort and simplicity; both want to create a safe retreat from the world. When these forces and their talents are harnessed together after the same goals, this pair can be dynamic and powerful but also comfortable and receptive at the same time.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:   a Positive Outlook Type (Nine) with an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Withdrawn Type (Nines) with an Assertive Type (Eight)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (Nine) with a Body Type (Eight)

 

Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

with

Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Nines generally bring the same qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls. Thus, the Level of health of each person is especially important for these types of
relationships as are their dominant instincts.

One of the most common same-type pairs, double Nine couples are invariably quiet, gentle, supportive of each other and of those around them, comfortable to be around and hospitable to others. They are easy-going and do not let
the minor irritations of life or of the relationship get to them easily. They tend to look positively on their life circumstances, whatever they are, making the most of whatever they have. They are patient with each other and give the other partner the benefit of the doubt, quick to
forgive if there have been spats or conflicts, generous and steady in their emotions and habits. They give each other lots of space, undemanding, non-judgmental attention, and a good deal of affection.  Both feel that the other is a kindred spirit who can be curious and
adventuresome, although not too much so.  Little deeply rocks, or even threatens, the world of a double Nine couple. They are typically people who enjoy regularity and predictability, the pleasure of the familiar and the tried and true. For example, most double Nine couples tend to go to the same restaurant or to the same vacation spot over and over again once they have found something they like. While being friendly and approachable, they are also surprisingly domestic and protective of their family and their private world.

This pair wants to create and maintain a safe haven from life’s ups and downs. Importantly, both feel unpressured by their relationship. The lack of pressure and stress in their ordinary interactions is one of the main attractions to this relationship. Neither one wants to feel put upon—they both want to take life at their own pace. Mellowness (with a certain feistiness and zippiness, depending on the instinctual pattern) is the hallmark.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:   a Positive Outlook Type (Nine) with a Positive Outlook Type (Nine)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Withdrawn Type (Nines) with a Withdrawn Type (Nine)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (Nine) with a Body Type (Nine)








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