Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

with

Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Ones bring the same general qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls of this pair. Two Ones will be concerned with fairness, truthfulness, keeping agreements, schedules, consistency, and treating the other wish respect and dignity.

Work and taking care of responsibilities will tend to come first, with play and pleasure taking a back seat for this couple. Vacations and leisure, partying and recreation will all be fitted in after the more important things are accomplished. Each will feel like (and take the role of) the adult in most situations, making for a highly competent, rational approach to life and problem solving.

In their dealings with each other (as well as with family and friends), two Ones will want to be objective and reasonable, fair and truthful above all else—and will seek these qualities in others. They create an atmosphere of clarity and precision in which their own interactions with each other (and with friends and family) feel clean—not sticky or sentimental or loaded with unspoken ulterior motives.

A double One pairing often is created and sustained by shared ideals as well as the desire to put those ideals into practice. Both Ones are typically people who have solid convictions which they enjoy talking about, often with noteworthy articulateness and passion. They also typically have a certain strength of character and a degree of wisdom—which both admire in the other. They could not bear being in a relationship with someone they did not respect and whose character was not sterling. Ones bring their hard-earned wisdom to others, above all, by fighting for tolerance, dignity, and rights of everyone.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  a Competency Type (One) with a Competency Type (One)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Compliant Type (One) with a Compliant Type (One)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (One) with a Body Type (One)

 

 

Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

with

Enneagram Type Two (the Helper)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Ones and Twos are a complementary couple since both offer the other the example of their own qualities. Both types are highly dutiful and are attracted to service roles and occupations: both may be teachers, ministers, or health care workers who have long hours and many responsibilities. One and Two couples are often professionals whose work takes them out of the house and requires the focus of their attention to be on the needs of others, not on the relationship itself or even on themselves personally. People in this kind of
relationship are often unusually mature and independent and able to obtain their emotional needs from a variety of people and connections, including their professional ones. They bring high ideals, strong ethical standards, and the desire to serve others to the relationship itself, keeping the relationship strong and in touch with solid values and practical perspectives.  The relationship is built around shared values: both are on a path of some kind together. Twos bring the nurturing and feelings that Ones do not easily allow themselves: they help Ones soften and relax. On the other hand, Ones bring integrity, conscientiousness, responsibility, and consistency. They are steady, reliable, and truthful. Ones commit strongly which makes the Two feel secure and that they won’t be abandoned. Further, Twos bring warmth, a concern with people and a willingness to make exceptions to the rule for individuals in need. They are aware of suffering and work hard and generously to alleviate it wherever they can. Twos are more convivial and welcoming than Ones and can warm up the One’s more typically reserved exterior, which most Ones are glad to have happen.

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  a Competency Type (One) with a Positive Outlook Type (Two)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Compliant Type (One) with a Compliant Type (Two)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (One) with a Heart Type (Two)

 

Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

with

Enneagram Type Three (the Achiever)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Ones and Threes are both competent, serious minded, and idealistic. This is a highly task-oriented relationship, with both partners driven to hard work and to be intensely aware when, individually and collectively, they are not measuring up to their own expectations and high standards. Both parties can bring selflessness, self-discipline, good work habits, and the ability to put aside their personal feelings for the sake of the objective good that needs to be done.

Both types are used to working so hard that they often succeed, garnering admiration from those around them and attaining places of leadership and responsibility. The One and Three combination can be dazzlingly accomplished, high energy, extraordinarily competent and impressive both individually and collectively. They both strive after excellence, both as an ideal and as something to personally embody. Sometimes they succeed so well that this pairing virtually glows with self-confidence and the thrill of their own talents. They strive to make each other proud of them, someone the other can look up to and show off to his or her friends and family. They enjoy planning and organizing their lives, dividing up responsibilities after seeing who is objectively better at which tasks. Both thrive on respect and give each other personal space.  There are only two other equally goal-oriented pairings, a One with One combination and a Three with Three pairing, although since these both are same type pairings, they typically have blind spots that these combinations will need to be aware of.

Because the One/Three is a mixed pair, this produces a powerful coalition that is capable of dealing both with ideals and with practical matters. They will try to solve problems in the relationship by discussing the issues involved since neither likes emotionally charged bickering or unresolved issues. Ones help Threes to be more grounded and realistic; Threes help Ones stretch themselves and not be so perfectionistic. They are both industrious and persistent, efficient and concerned with excellence and with making a real difference in the world.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  a Competency Type (One) with a Competency Type (Three)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Compliant Type (One) with an Assertive Type (Three)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (One) with a Heart Type (Three)

Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

with

Enneagram Type Four (the Individualist)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Ones and Fours have an intense mutual interest to bring something good and beautiful into the world. Both are idealistic and concerned with getting it right in their work and self-expressions. Both see how things could be, how a project could become an expression of an ideal form, if all went well. By working together, something universal and transcendent could result in their work and in their relationship itself.

Ones bring a desire for objectivity, truth, value, and reason to the relationship. They offer self-discipline, good work habits, and regularity to the relationship. Ones are conscientious and will sublimate themselves and their personal needs for the greater good, including the shared vision and goals that they feel are at the core of the relationship itself. Ones can act as valuable sounding boards for Fours, offering advice and wisdom when Fours get confused by the multitude of their feelings or their self-doubts.

Fours bring creativity, intense feelings, sensuality, spontaneity, inspiration, and the ability to tap into dreams, the unconscious, and other universal forces. Their expressiveness and emotionality can be a welcome counterbalance to the One’s typical formality and sense of order and reason.  Fours give Ones permission to explore and express the full range of the One’s feelings and passions. Ones help Fours actualize their dreams by supporting creativity with healthy self-discipline and appropriate structure. In general, Ones bring self-restraint to the relationship, which may act as a model for Fours, who tend to be more unregulated.

Both types have a taste for refinement, beauty, and a cultivation of the arts, and if both appreciate what the other offers, they can make a long lasting, productive team that helps balance the limitations of the other while bringing out qualities that each lacks—one of the primary functions of all good relationships.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  a Competency Type (One) with an Emotional Intensity Type (Four)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Compliant Type (One) with a Withdrawn Type (Four)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (One) with a Heart Type (Four)

 

 

Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

with

Enneagram Type Five (the Investigator)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Ones and Fives are alike in many ways, particularly in their reticence to show their emotions directly and in their identification with their minds. Both see themselves as fact-oriented, although Fives are more purely mental while Ones like their ideas and philosophies to have practical ramifications. Both bring to their relationship a desire to be objective; they both want to avoid falling into sentimentality, or to allow their feelings to cloud their mental clarity. Ones and Fives share a rich mental life of intellectual stimulation, curiosity, and a multiplicity of mutual interests—from the opera to sports to politics to economics to history, and so forth.

Ones and Fives often enjoy each other’s company and intellectual stimulation, loving to debate and admiring the intelligence and expertise exhibited by the other. Unexpectedly, they tickle each other’s funny bone—this pair loves to laugh together at life’s absurdities. Child rearing, traveling, building a house, shared hobbies, or other complex activities are mutually stimulating and bonding for them.  They both are highly respectful of personal boundaries, rarely being the one to make the first move in anything regarding intimacy unless they have pretty strong signals from the other that they would be welcomed. Thus, Ones and Fives tend to bring a certain formality and courtesy to each other that can be charmingly courtly and old-fashioned.

Ones add to this a concern with logic and order, with systematic thinking, attention to details and the desire to improve the world around them. Fives bring curiosity, the willingness to be intellectually (and sexually) adventuresome, a taste for the bizarre and illogical, and the ability to relish disorder, chaos, and lack of apparent meaning. There is quiet affectionate appreciation in this pairing. If romance develops, it develops slowly but deeply.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  a Competency Type (One) with a Competency Type (Five)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Compliant Type (One) with a Withdrawn Type (Five)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (One) with a Head Type (Five)

Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

with

Enneagram Type Six (the Loyalist)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Ones and Sixes are alike in many ways and they are often misidentified with each other. Both types are extremely hard workers, conscientious, serious minded, and have a strong sense of duty and honor. They both care deeply about truth and commitment, and both have a desire to serve others and improve the world. Both have a guiding sense of purpose, often lead by deeply held beliefs and ideals.

Of course, they also bring other qualities that are especially their own. Ones bring a sense of reason and mental clarity, the ability to think clearly under pressure and to come to firm decisions quickly. They are more sure of themselves and their opinions than Sixes tend to be, so Ones often serve as the leader in a One-Six relationship, making the final decision and taking responsibility for it. Ones also bring a concern for order and consistency, for logic and elegance that is sometime lacking in Sixes. They may also bring a distinct idealism that has little to do with personal loyalty or hero worship (as it may in a Six). On the other hand, Sixes bring warmth, more emotional responsiveness and availability, generosity, and playfulness that can be endearing and which can make Ones think twice about their certitudes and positions. Sixes also have the ability to connect with people in a more direct and human way than Ones tend to do.

These qualities are attractive to the other and they can make this couple a dynamic and yet highly stable team, provided their fundamental beliefs are in alignment. They take responsibility in relationships, sharing burdens and chores equally. They also feel that they can count on the other: they are steadfast, loyal, and faithful to each other, wanting to build a solid foundation together. Because both can count on the other, this gives both room to relax—something they both need to do more often.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  a Competency Type (One) with an Emotional Intensity Type (Six)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Compliant Type (One) with a Compliant Type (Six)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (One) with a Head Type (Six)

 

Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

with

Enneagram Type Seven (the Enthusiast)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Ones and Sevens have a particular complementary and reciprocal relationship. They are opposites who can either bring something needed to the other person, thereby helping both to achieve new growth (or, as we will see) they can drive each other further apart by playing on each other’s weaknesses whether consciously or not.

Ones bring conscientiousness, orderliness, good work habits, methodical attention to detail, and a pleasure in maintaining excellence and high standards. Sevens bring spontaneity, high energy, curiosity, an orientation toward fun and adventure, the desire to try new things, and an ability to not get too hung up with getting everything done perfectly. Both types can be initiators and planners, future-oriented and idealistic, although Sevens tend to prefer having multiple options and to keep all plans loose enough so that they can be changed as needed. They bring freedom and spontaneity. Ones are more methodical and help Sevens stay on track—they resist getting distracted by too many options, and excel at following through with their plans.  Sevens offer Ones a sense of excitement and life as a source of pleasure and enjoyment. Ones offer Sevens a sense of purpose and idealism, as well as direction and the feeling that life is noble and meaningful. Sevens keep Ones’ spirits up, refreshing their idealism while preventing the relationship from becoming too heavy. Ones help steady Sevens, keeping them working systematically and consistently toward goals. Sevens appreciate the One’s consistency and reliability and are glad to have someone who can attend to details.

These two types can be highly supportive of each other as long as their ultimate values are congruent and as long as they are both working for the same fundament things in life. This tends to be a stimulating relationship for both—they stretch each other and are fascinated and
challenged by their differences.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  a Competency Type (One) with a Positive Outlook Type (Seven)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Compliant Type (One) with an Assertive Type (Seven)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (One) with a Head Type (Seven)

 

Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

with

Enneagram Type Eight (the Challenger)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship:

Enneagram Ones and Eights bring a common concern with fighting for truth and justice in their world. They both often feel (although in different ways and for different reasons) that it is up to them to stand against whatever they perceive as injustice or falseness. Both can see themselves as gallant crusaders protecting the weak, righting wrongs, and making the world a better place.

In a relationship, these two types are both action-oriented, and if their attention and energy is turned toward social causes in particular, they can have a big effect on their family and their community, perhaps even their country or the world. Both bring a certain nobility of vision and a focused purpose, practicality, and perseverance in supporting whatever they believe is right. Both are willing to sacrifice a great deal to do what they believe needs to be done. For both,  fairness is centrally important. (Ones bring a sense of absolute or ideal truth and justice whereas Eights bring a more practical and immediate approach to these concepts.)

The combination can be very powerful: they accomplish things with a clear cut sense of purpose and personal mission. Both are decisive and direct, although Eights bring a passion and gusto that counterbalances the One’s self-restraint and propriety. Ones can find Eights exciting, physical, and earthy-all the  things that they restrain in themselves. Thus, there can be a strong attraction from both sides. Further, Eights recognize that Ones are as strong-willed and determined as they are: they cannot easily sway or bowl over Ones. Eights thus admire their conviction and are attracted to the challenge of getting closer to Ones.

In many ways, these two types are opposites-the pirate and the schoolteacher-although both could learn a great deal from the other, if they are willing to listen to someone with such different values, reactions, and ways of doing things.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

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HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  a Competency Type (One) with an Emotional Intensity Type (Eight)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Compliant Type (One) with an Assertive Type (Eight)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (One) with a Body Type (Eight)

 

Enneagram Type One (the Reformer)

with

Enneagram Type Nine (the Peacemaker)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship

These types understand each other from the inside as it were, and for better or worse, can see many of their own traits in the other. On the positive side, each type brings a certain idealism and desire to change the world to make it a better place. Nines bring a more interpersonal orientation than Ones to their idealism, but both can be self-sacrificial and hardworking, and willing to put their personal needs and interests aside for the welfare of others. Both are also able to delay rewards for a long-term good they seek.

Ones bring clarity and rationality and the ability to articulate ideals and understandings. They strive to improve themselves and their environment, are conscientious, have high ethical and moral standards, and are fair and consistent. Nines bring a gentle, accepting quality that nurtures and supports others without as much explicit demand for self-improvement. Nines are steady, easy to get along with, feel uncritical and undemanding, and prefer harmony and smooth relations over the pleasure of being right or of having the last word in a situation.

In short, Nines tend to take a bit of the rough edge off of the criticality and seriousness of Ones, while Ones give clarity and direction to Nines. Further, Ones feel that they have a mission in life, and they are able to inspire Nines to become aware of their own purpose and to want to follow it. This can be a highly altruistic couple who balance idealism with humanity. As a couple, they are gracious company, hospitable and generous, but they also need time to be alone with each other as a couple. They have a mutual love of nature and animals that may bring them closer together, as well as their love of their children and family. Nines soothe Ones, while Ones remind Nines to strive for excellence.

CLICK HERE for more comments from Riso & Hudson regarding potential trouble spots with this combination!

HARMONICS – CONFLICT STYLES:  a Competency Type (One) with a Positive Outlook Type (Nine)

HORNEYVIAN TRIADS  (TENDENCY FOR “AGAINST,” “WITH,” or “AWAY” MOVEMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS): a Compliant Type (One) with a Withdrawn Type (Nine)

CENTERS OF PERSONALITY STYLES  (INSTINCTUAL, FEELING, or THINKING TYPE): a Body Type (One) with a Body Type (Nine)











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